Function of Beauty Ambassador!

If there is any one beauty product that I feel I absolutely NEED in my life - it's a good set of shampoo and conditioner.

That doesn't mean I'm high maintenance and blow-dry, straighten, curl, etc my hair daily.  In fact, I very often strictly let it air-dry.

However, I do like to color it.  Lately, I've been all about Pulp Riot hair color.  First I tried Velvet and Nightfall.  Then I tried Nightfall by itself.  The latest version: Jam and Fireball.  

But the problem with color?  It doesn't hold the greatest for me.  First of all, my hair can only show color if I bleach it first.  So I get a round of highlights and then add the color over that.  It's quite a process and can get costly when it needs to be redone every 2 months.

So this goes back to: WHAT I use to wash my hair is important.

And before you leave a comment about how washing your hair daily is bad, blah blah blah, LISTEN.  This isn't meant to be "braggy" but I run. And when I run, I sweat.  I'm not talking about "glistening".  I'm talking about sweating like a whore in church.  Yes, this is my blog so if you don't like my analogy or language, feel free to unfollow.  So yes, this includes my scalp.  There's no way in hell you're going to tell me I can just use dry shampoo for that.

Anyway, back to coloring.  And me also mentioning it needs bleached.  Bleaching my hair also dries it out.  So maybe I personally am not high maintenance, but my hair is.  It needs COLOR protection AND moisturizing.

Which brings me to... Function of Beauty.  I discovered it thanks to word-of-mouth from another friend on social media.  We're always influencing one another, didn't you know that?  So here are some basics:

What is it?  It's a company that believes in creating CUSTOM hair care that's free of all the bad things like parabens and sulfates.  It's ONLY shampoo and conditioner currently.

How does it work?  When you visit their site, you'll take a hair "quiz" essentially by selecting your hair type, picking your hair "goals" (up to 5!), and then personalizing it with color and scent.

Cost?  It's not the cheapest, but I think it's reasonable.  AND.... I can save you $5 on your first order! Plus, the bottles come with their own pump, and one pump is all you need.  Basically, a little goes a long way, and if you aren't a daily washer, yours will last even longer. Also, you can choose what size bottle you want, or if you only want shampoo or only conditioner.  If you want to be a preferred customer with autoship, you can.  Otherwise, a one-time purchase can be made, too.

This brings me to: so does it work?  I've posted a few photos for you.  Again, keep in mind, it's IMPOSSIBLE to keep my hair color from fading.  Even if I lessen the amount of times I wash it, even exposure to sunlight and all that will affect it.  I find my hair to be shiny, soft, and still maintaining the color.

If you'd like to try it for yourself - please use my Ambassador link at:  https://functionofbeauty.com/?ref=kerrybanks 

This photo was taken on August 28.  I had my hair done initially on August 15th so this is almost 2 weeks of washing.

This photo was taken on September 6.  This is now 3 weeks later.  Pulp Riot claims to last for 28-42 washes.

It's time for my "every 2 months" post!

Are you not taking me seriously because of how inconsistently I post? Hey, I don't blame you. I wish I had some elaborate excuse as to why, but truthfully I don't.  And let's face it.  The saying is true: "Excuses are like butt holes.  Everyone has one and they all stink."

So here we are.  And I don't even know where to begin.   What have I been up to?  Well, I'm still a glutton.  So since my last food blog entries, I've tried more flavors of Oreos, all of which I at least photographically documented on both my Facebook account (sorry, that's more private) and my Instagram account, @banksy84 (hey, that's public!)  If you're too lazy to look on IG, I've since tried Mississippi Mud Pie, Jelly Donut, and Dunkin Donuts Mocha.  I'll spare you all of my normal details and say I don't think any of those are worthy of me purchasing again.  Mississippi Mud Pie was basically just a chocolate Oreo (5.5/10), Jelly Donut really tasted more like Blueberry (6.5/10), and Mocha was also more of a chocolate Oreo with a very faint taste of coffee (6/10).

In non-Oreo gluttony, I bought a bag of Herr's cheese curls that were Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup flavored.  If you're not local to Herr's in PA, you'll have no idea what these are since they're market isn't that expansive.  I couldn't taste the grilled cheese but they sure did taste like Tomato Soup.  If you like Tomato Soup, you'll like these.

Let's see... my gig as being a brand ambassador for Java Factory Roasters also seems to have come to an end.  There were some changes with who was overseeing the program, and now it's just crickets.  So it was fun while it lasted, and I see I can still try some other flavors on Amazon, except those won't be free.

In "running news" - well, the summer is my down time for races, and more meant for "training". I purposely put training in quotes because I'm honestly struggling to get it done.  I went "Streaking with the Cool Kids" again this past June (you can learn more about that on my IG account), and I'm prepping for the Bird-in-Hand Half Marathon (where I'll earn my plaque of horse poop and a horseshoe medal), and also the Marine Corps Marathon.  I'm pretty nervous for the MCM.  I'm a turtle, so I'm really going to be fighting the course time limit. I'm hoping there's SOME leniency otherwise I'll be getting picked up on the sag wagon.

I've also been coloring my hair lately, but you know, like the mermaid colors of blues and purples.  I suppose I could do an official blog/review post on that.  Any interest? (I expect more radio silence.)  At the very least, I *SHOULD* (possibly need?) be blogging about my Influenster Voxboxes I've received.  They actually DO want my opinion!  Scary, I know.  I don't sugar coat things.

Other than that, I feel like I'm just going through the motions.  Work, Run, Eat, Sleep, Repeat.  Still selling Posh.  Still buying all things Disney (damn you, Lularoe!).

OH!  I am going to be a grandmother here in about 2.5 weeks, so that's big news!  I'm jokingly calling myself Granny Kimchi.  It gets a good laugh.  So here's my post.  I can't promise that it won't take me 3 months until I blog again.  

PS - I DO read comments and even get a fun e-mail alert so I can't possibly miss it.  Leave one if you want to say "Hi!"

TRIFECTA!! Waffles & Syrup Oreo Review!

If you read my Fireworks Oreo review, you'll remember I said there were 3 new Oreo flavors, so this is number 2.  (Still hunting for the 3rd much to my dismay).

These Oreos are exclusive to Safeway type stores, so that also includes Jewel-Osco, Shaw, and Von's.  Anyway, thanks to networking with people from all over the country with Perfectly Posh, I was able to have someone from Montana mail me these 😋😋😋

What's the first thing you noticed on the packaging?  They're 5 more calories per cookie than usual. HAH!  These are far from being diet friendly, but hell, calories add up fast, so of course I had the attitude of "these better be worth the extra minute on the dreadmill!"

When I first opened the packaging (again, yay for the pull tab!), I was immediately hit with the scent of sugary syrup.

As usual, I twisted the cookie apart.  Inside the cream filling had a tan colored center with white cream around that (as pictured on the packaging).  Now, before I opened the cookies, I was pretty hesitant about the cream appearance.  There is something about it that reminds me more of an egg.  Don't get me wrong, I like eggs, but not with Oreos.  Luckily, the tan color reminded me more of peanut butter in this case than it did an egg yolk.  Phew.  Crisis averted.

The yellow cookie part tasted like it always does - nothing fancy there. So now we get to what makes the cookie a Limited Edition.  I wasn't surprised in the least when tasting it - if I could smell syrup, I could taste syrup.   I really never got a hint of waffles; however, bravo to Nabisco for nailing the syrup flavor.  For those that are hoping it's maple syrup, I hate to disappoint, but it just tastes like your standard Mrs. Butterworth or whatever other store brand you prefer.  The cream is very sweet so I really probably couldn't eat more than two in one sitting even if I wanted to torture myself with countless miles later.

So do I like these better than the Fireworks ones?  Ehh, yes, but then I'm comparing apples to oranges.  Final rating: 8/10. 

FOOD REVIEW: Tostitos Sopapilla chips

I know a sopapilla isn't the same as a churro, and I have indeed had sopapillas before, but I blame Disney for my love for churros.  I decided these were a "must have" because I figured they're close enough to a churro thanks to the cinnamon sugar.

Sometimes I admittedly like to cheat before buying something, and reading reviews from others.  But that's the beauty of reviews.  A review is your own opinion, and guess what? Not all opinions matter,  nor do all opinions match.

Anyway, I had been reading positive feedback on these.  So I had high hopes! ... Remember how in my Oreo post (just the one prior to this one), that I had low expectations and sometimes if they're low, the outcome is better?  Well, same thing holds true for high expectations.  When you set them too high, you can be faced with disappointment.

Cue the disappointment. 😭😭😭

So what didn't I like about them?  Sometimes I'm terrible at explaining things, which is probably the case with this.  But there was just this weird after-taste to them.  I think it was the attempt at artificial butter perhaps?  I had to eat SEVERAL (and very quickly!) to try to get that taste to go away.  Did it? Yes, but I shouldn't have to binge on them to find them acceptable and have my taste buds find them edible.  Was I repulsed? No.  I just feel no need to buy them again.

NOTE: Many others who reviewed them claimed that they either added them to vanilla ice cream (as the back of the bag suggested) which I did not, and others stated that the ratio of "seasoning" to chip needed improved upon.

So what's my final rating? 4/10 from me.  My fiance seemed to approve of them much more than me, though, so I say that if these sound intriguing to you, please don't let me own opinion sway you and go give them a try.

She's back with a BANG! ... Bringing you FIREWORKS Oreos!

I'm sorry I haven't posted in awhile.  Work happened.  Then a week long illness.  Then a "racecation" to WDW for the (Star Wars) Dark Side Half Marathon weekend.  Then... well, you get the picture.

So here I am back with a foodie review on 1 of 3 new Oreo flavors that are currently available.  

The good news?  You should be able to buy these anywhere.  They're not exclusive to any one store, which makes my life a hell of a lot easier, and also why you're getting this review.  I'll have one more flavor to review, but I have yet to get my hands on the third flavor.  They're eluding me still.

The bad news?  While they're readily available, they're not exactly "new". What do I mean by this?  Well, the Fireworks Oreo is essentially your standard Oreo, but there are "popping candy" bits inside the cream.  Notice, I didn't call them Pop Rocks.  I'm guessing that's due to legal issues with using the trademarked name and all that jazz.  And the candies are colored blue and red.  (Hooray for patriotism!)  I actually thought these wouldn't hit shelves for another month in honor of the 4th of July, but Memorial Day makes sense, too.

So as I mentioned above, there's nothing too wild and crazy about these Oreos, so I really didn't have high expectations.

What happens if you set low expectations?  You're generally pleasantly surprised when your expectations are surpassed, and that's exactly what happened with these.

I actually don't generally separate the cookie from the cream filling, except when trying a new flavor.  However, I did this with every one I ate.  Standard chocolate cookie, nothing new here.  But I was pleasantly surprised with the popping candy!  Now, it's far from an explosion, and I think the ratio of candies to cream was far from consistent, but when I happened to find an "active" cookie, I could really hear and feel them popping, especially on the roof of my mouth and on my tongue. I even got adventurous and took a sip of soda (yes, I call it soda!) and it did intensify the result.  (No, I didn't die clearly.)

So how would I rate these?  Their gimmicky, but I love Oreos.  So I'd give these a 7/10 overall.

PS - can we both be excited this packaging also has the pull tab?  Sometimes the specialty flavors don't!

Coffee Review: Da Bomb!

Watch out now - you're getting a "two for one" deal today.  And why is that?  Because I'm drinking my latest batch of coffee from Java Factory Roasters.  And when the box let's you know it's double caffeinated, you have energy to #getshitdone.

So let's clear the air about how this review almost didn't happen.  JF (that's how I'm going to abbreviate the company) let me know last week that new coffee was on its way and shipping via Fed Ex.  In case you didn't know, you can sign up for Fed Ex alerts when you're expecting a delivery. Both UPS and USPS also offer this.   Anyway, I could tell my coffee was going to get delivered on Saturday, and according to Fed Ex, it was indeed delivered.  Small problem though, it wasn't on MY doorstep.  So that either means 1) Someone stole it, or 2) It was delivered to our next door neighbor. Grrrr.

I decided Monday after work I'd go see if the coffee was mistakenly delivered to the wrong house. Luckily, it was already walked over and left on my doorstep.  Hooray!  Crisis averted of getting their beagle barking.

If you don't recall, I received two boxes of flavored light roasts in December.  I wasn't sure what to expect this go-around since I really can't think of any Valentine's Day related flavors of coffee... Maybe chocolate covered strawberries? (#somethingtoconsider).  So I open the box to find Da Bomb, which is an extra bold dark roast.  Oh, and it's double caffeinated.

I was pretty apprehensive to try it.  Why?  Sometimes dark roasts don't always agree w/ my stomach.  In order to avoid a potential stomachache, I decided to make myself a cup of this after lunch for that afternoon jolt of energy.  I am also wondering if a "crash" is possible.

How did I brew it?  I set the cup setting to 10 oz, and added 2 Mini Moo creamers, 1 packet of sugar, and 1 packet of Equal.  Normally, I don't add sugar anymore, but upon first trying it, it was still a tad bitter for my liking, so I did feel the need to sweeten it up.

Despite it not having a "flavor" assigned, it is indeed QUITE flavorful overall.  It's rich, and I like it more than I expected I would.  I don't feel jittery either, which is a relief.  However, it is helping me fight off the "food coma" I often fall into, so it's working somehow.  I had given one to my fiance to try yesterday.  When I asked him if he thought it was extra caffeinated, all he could tell me was that he didn't feel like he needed  nap when he got home, so there's that 👍

#dabombsquad #javajunkies #javafactory #javafactoryroasters

Food Review: Hint of Jalapeno Tostitos

A few weeks ago, I spotted these on the shelves.  But I didn't buy them then.  I was second-guessing myself as to whether or not they were "new" since I didn't see the word "new" on the bag.  They were placed next to the "Hint of Lime" Tostitos (which I've definitely had before and love!) so I was thinking to myself, "Maybe I've just never noticed these before."

After some digging around, I learned that the Hint of Jalapeno Tostitos are indeed new, so back to the store I went. 

If you ever ask me what some of my favorite snack foods are, chips (whether potato or tortilla) always win.  And chips and salsa, guac, queso... The list goes on. However, I love the Hint of Lime chips by themselves, so I figured I probably would be fine w/o any dippers for these as well.

Yesterday, I was feeling pretty gross all day - bloated (a way a man will never understand).  I got home from work and saw the bag waiting for me.  I debated if I wanted to try them then since I risked the chance of intensifying my gross feeling.  But let's face it.  I'm a glutton (and for punishment!) so I decided to go for it.

Upon opening them, I could smell the jalapeno scent immediately.  I wouldn't say it's a strong enough scent to make your eyes water.  (PS - I love spicy foods so even if that had been the case, it probably would have intrigued me more.)  The best part about these chips - they're actual chips.  None of these crumbs and half-assed size chips.  Full chips that if you wanted to dip, they shouldn't break and be worthwhile of getting a decent amount of dip without having to buy the "Scoops".

Anyway, I failed to take a picture of the "seasoning" that you can see on them, but it's there so you'll just have to take my word for it.  As soon as I tried it, I knew I was in trouble.  I grabbed another, and another, and another.  This was a snaccident (this is when you only mean to eat a few, but accidentally eat them all) in the making.  Eventually, I came to my senses and stopped binging on them.  I also wanted my fiance to try them, too.

Are they spicy?  In my opinion, no.  They have the right amount of flavor without causing you to breathe heavily and chug water/milk.  All in all, I'd give them an 8/10, because quite frankly, I could use a little extra heat 😉